Today, Saturday, July 3rd, 2021, my friend, Mayowa will tie the knot with the love of his life. To say I’m excited is an understatement. I’m big on loyalty, so I keep a very small circle of friends, people who trust me and I trust. Mayowa is my second longest-standing friend, the first longest-standing being Dimeji (I spoke about him here), whom I met in 1996. Dimeji has since moved to the U.S., Naija life can be hard… Lol.

I met Mayowa in the year 2004, a few days after he graduated from high/secondary school. I had completed my secondary school 2 years earlier and since I had not been able to gain entry into the university, I had put in for a 2-year software engineering training program.

Mayowa was introduced to me by my cousin, Ayo, they have been friends since their SS1 class in school. On that same day, I met Seye, who is the best man at the wedding today, they all finished from the same school and have been very good friends. I remember chatting with all 3 over a few drinks that day. Ayo left for Lagos where his family was at the time, while Seye left for Oshogbo to meet his family as well. The next time I was going to see the 3 of them, it wasn’t for a celebration, Mayowa’s dad had suddenly passed away, and we were all left in shock. When we met earlier, we had all shared our plans and what we wanted out of life. Mayowa had said he would be studying in the U.K., and that he had already gotten an admission, and only needed to make payment and sort out his Visa.

Upon hearing about his dad’s passing, we all knew that his dream to school abroad had suffered a major setback. I can’t exactly tell what Mayowa went through at this time, but this incident brought us closer. Mayowa lived close to my house in Ibadan at the time, so it was easy to get along. He visited my family frequently, I guess he needed some comfort, leaving his house was a good distraction. I was beginning to settle into my software development training at the time, and after spending my first 2 months without understanding a thing in my classes, I decided to do away with all distractions, including video games.

I had two PSP (Play Station Portable) devices at the time and lots of games, these provided entertainment for Mayowa while he was around, he took some home sometimes, but he started staying over after a while. In retrospect, it’s clear it wasn’t about the video games, he needed a friend, and he was doing everything to recover from the recent loss. I remember meeting his mum shortly after, she was a very warm person. I still remember the rice and stew I was served, some things are difficult to forget! He was her last child, so there was a lot of attachment and love between the two of them.

He first went in for a pre-degree program that did not work out, then he later went on to do his A-Level program, through which he got admission into the university. We never lost touch, rather, we became closer. At the time he was in his second year, I still hadn’t gotten into the university, although I had completed my software engineering program and I’d started working.
Mayowa called me one day telling me about a diploma program at his school, and if I was interested. At this point, I was already frustrated with the way things had gone with my academics (I will find time to thoroughly document this experience), so I told him I had no interest. I’m sure he noticed my frustration, but he didn’t say anything in response.

The next time he called me, he told me my name was out on the diploma admission list and I had come for registration. Mayowa had gone ahead to buy me (and my cousin, Ayo) the form and he had completed our applications without mentioning it. We spent a little over a year together in the same school, living together. Before I completed this diploma, I finally got into a degree program at the University of Abuja, so as I was wrapping up my diploma program, I was doing my registration in Abuja. ASUU’s (Academic Staff Union of Universities) fight with the government of Nigeria didn’t start yesterday, so we had several episodes at the time. This provided us with a lot of free time, thankfully, we have always been well-behaved. No alcohol, drugs, or women.

At some point, I decided to have a gospel music singing group and record a few songs, I had no idea how well Mayowa could sing until we started. Ayo was our drummer, we formed a music group of 8 people and we had one concert and a studio recording before we moved on to other things. After I finished the diploma program, and after working in Ilorin for a while, I decided to move to Abuja, since I had to complete the degree program. I wanted to have my life in one place. Mayowa had completed his degree program, after so much struggle financially, and had been posted to Abuja for his NYSC. His mum had done everything within her ability to ensure he finished school.

We found ourselves in the same city once again, and no one could have written this script.
He was retained for full-time work at the place where he had his NYSC ( National Youth Service Corps ), I still had a few years left before completing my degree program (thanks to ASUU) and I had a software engineering job in town, so it seemed we were both going to stay permanently in Abuja. We got an apartment and lived together once again, but as we settled in, tragedy struck. I was at work one afternoon when I got a call that Mayowa was back at home and crying loudly.

I may seem like a hard guy by my looks, but I’m more emotional than Mayowa, so it was a shock to hear that he was crying. He wouldn’t answer his phone, so I decided to leave work early and head home. His mum had passed away after being ill for a while. This was the second time I’d seen him grieving, and I still didn’t know how to comfort him. So I just allowed him to cry, and sat there beside him, not saying anything, I just remained present. We had joined the same church, we were in the choir together and we had started a drama group together. We had rehearsals that night, I knew he wouldn’t be able to do much, but I didn’t want to leave him at home alone, so I asked him to come along.

He went through the pain from this loss, but thankfully, the experience didn’t break him, his smile never dimmed. Mayowa became an orphan, and what’s most painful is that he lost his parents at very key periods in his life, but he remained resolute to succeed! He has had to fight through disappointments, loss, not having enough, and being looked over. Yet, he has held his head up.

Your story is that of strength and doggedness. Your calm and friendly nature gives no one a clue of what you have been through. I am extremely proud of the man that you have become and excited about what the future holds. I’m thankful that God blessed you with a kind and loving woman, and I wish you and your beautiful wife a happy home and God’s blessings all the way.