Getting guarantors, references, and recommendations shouldn’t be as difficult as it has become. I decided to write this in response to the nature of the requests I have received over the past couple of weeks. I have been repeatedly approached by strangers for letters of recommendation/reference or to be their guarantor for business loans. I also recently spoke to someone who failed to meet up with the documentation for a new job because of the lack of guarantors.
Let me start by saying that it is very inappropriate to approach someone you just met with these kinds of requests. Apart from being inappropriate, it is also a reflection of who you are; you’re portraying yourself as someone who can’t be trusted by those who are close to you or someone who isn’t close to anyone, none of which is helpful to you.
When people or organizations ask for recommendations or guarantors, what do they want?
- Recommendations/References – When you are asked to bring a letter of recommendation or reference, what they’re looking for are people who have worked with you on things similar to what you are applying for, who have experienced your skills and abilities, and who can speak about you.A workplace requests for this as part of employee clearance before being given everything required for the new role. They want to be sure that the person they are speaking to is as good as he/she has marketed himself/herself. Academic institutions also request recommendations/references to validate your journey as you have presented it. They also want to see those who have influenced you on your journey and how you have been able to work with them. Fellowship and scholarship boards make this request for the same purposes.
Recommendations and References have to be professional, they must come from those with whom you have built professional working relationships and not from family members and close relatives. The assumption is that your friends and relatives will always have something nice to say about you, even though this isn’t always true.
- Guarantors – When you are asked to bring a guarantor, you’re technically being asked to bring someone who can take a bullet for you.
These are people who have been a solid part of your journey, and who understand your goals and where you are heading. They can’t be strangers or people who don’t know you well enough.I recently had someone who argued with me over the phone about how long he had known me and why I was the best candidate to be his guarantor, yet I only met this person for the first time about 48 hours before this call. A guarantor is someone you have carried along on your journey, who is certain of your abilities, skills, and most importantly, certain of your personality. He/She can vouch for you to deliver as promised, yet he/she is willing to carry the burden of failure with you if you don’t deliver.Aptitude and Attitude are very key here and certainly, a stranger will know little or nothing about you.
While I understand that in a country like Nigeria, as of today, these sorts of documents can be easily falsified or paid for, each of us needs to do an introspection. If you have ever found it difficult to obtain any of these, it is a sign that you have not done enough to develop the habit of forming relationships or that you may have unrealistic expectations of those who are close to you.
I’ll discuss a few steps below that I think will help in building quality relationships that will help you easily get recommendations, references, or guarantors.
- Genuinely be with people without expectations – You won’t maximize your potential if all your relationships are transactional. As we grow older, each one of us needs to build relationships where there are no expectations, just a genuine desire to be with people and to add value to their lives. This is a difficult thing to ask in a world where we compete for everything, but those of us who will rise to the summit of whatever we choose to do in life must determine to make sacrifices for other people.
Those who will validate your work with recommendations, and references and stand for you as guarantors are those who you have added value to their work/lives in one way or the other.
This is your way of building social capital. - Volunteer/Serve – When people in your network tell you they are unto something important to them, find out ways in which you can support them to make their objective successful. If you focus too much on profit, you will lose a lot of good people who are unable to pay you but can open doors for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to lower yourself to the point of humiliation, as you know, some set out to use other people for their selfish interests. If you pay quality attention, you can easily tease these out of your network.
Spend some of your time volunteering and serving people, this is how you strengthen your relationships. This provides the people in your network opportunities to get to know you more and to see those other areas of your life that are often not open to the public. - Be consistent – I really can’t say this enough. I am personally tired of people coming to tell me about this great thing they want to do/achieve and 3 months down the line, they have not only run out of steam but have moved on to doing something different.
In a generation where you have to pass your message within 30-60 seconds or risk being ignored, it seems most people have come to the conclusion that everything must happen quickly, and when they don’t, you simply quit and move on to something else.
You must pay your dues before you hit your oil, that’s the way life works! The people who you expect to give you recommendations, references, or be your guarantors must know you as someone who is stable and can follow through with a plan/assignment. - Give regular updates – Ensure those within your network never lose touch with your journey. While sharing updates, ensure you manage how you report your challenges and failures, you don’t want to make it seem like you are constantly in need of help. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with asking for help, but asking for help makes you become a burden when you do it every time you give an update. What you really should do is send progress reports, more successes than challenges/failures, this will ensure you appeal to these people as someone who is independent and can get things done.
- Randomly check on people – Public holidays are a very good time to check up on people. And in a country with several religious holidays, you really cannot run out of options. For those of us who naturally do not like disturbing others, technology has made it so easy to keep in touch. You can go professional by sending emails to keep in touch. Or you can tone it down a bit using SMS or other chat apps like Whatsapp, Skype, Teams, etc.
Your primary objective is to continue to register your existence and progress in their memories.
These are the few points I will be able to discuss in this post, I hope you put them to use.
To learn more about social capital, please click here.